Revelations from A Baby

He's a Liar

2012-02-12T17:40:00.000-08:00

Being pulled through the kitchen, dishes and ToDos whispering my name, the hot cup of tea sits as an invitation to peace and rest. I tiptoe towards it, as if it may slip away from my gaze. Thoughts unwinding, I spiral down a staircase of deceit.

Everything is mediocre.

I cleaned the house, but I didn't get the groceries.

I fed and bathed the kids, but they were exhausted and got to bed late.

I'm keeping myself busy, but isn't it just a burden on everyone else?!

Nothing I put my hand to is beautiful.

And then, before I slip any further He S T O P S me, dead in my decent...

But you don't love ME mediocre. Your prayers for the others aren't empty. Your fiery passion for MY will isn't in vein. And I, yes I, think you and all you create is beautiful.

The tea bag compresses and honey drips from the spoon. I sip the truth and swallow the WORD to my spirit.

The devil is a liar and pleads me to believe (John 8:44), but my heart has been given to another lover, whom speaks LIFE over me. And I will believe...and sip the tea of peace and rest.

Now it's your turn. Choose His perspective for your life, because it is TRUTH.

Picture Pages, Picture Pages

2012-02-08T07:20:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day is almost here.
Do you have any special plans? Gift ideas?
Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated? Cupid doesn't. His belly is as big as Aslan's! ;)

Tues Revues

2012-02-07T06:57:00.000-08:00

Brandon and our good friend/business partner, Ethan (with their babies).
My husband, is one of the hardest working people I know. He is visionary and detailed. He refuses to give less than his best. He seeks out new and innovative ways to finish old tasks and design new ones. This being said, check out Diamondback Truck Covers' new website. This was the first website he has ever designed. This is the first website project he has overseen. I am SO proud of the effort he put into it and the finished project is pretty freakin' awesome.

Nails. Love to paint 'em. It's kind of therapeutic for me. It has a lasting effect. Take a glance at the color palette on your fingers and , voila, beauty! My bestie introduced me to a brand called Essie. I've been a longtime fan of OPI (don't worry OPI, you're still my fav), but Essie is a close second. The polish is thin, not goopy, but the color is vibrant, not transparent. The good news is, you can pick up a bottle of this nail art at Target! No need to go to the salon. Throw it in your cart at the local bullseye. Done!

My Pinterest meal of the week, Simple Chicken and Dumplings. My Grandma Stout turned 79 this week (still looking great Gram!) and I threw some comfort food together for the family. It was DELICIOUS! My dad always asks why I didn't "cook like this" when I lived at home. Needlesstosay, I was 18, Ramon and Velveeta Shells and Cheese were my main dish.Grams at 79!

Focus for the Week

2012-02-06T06:20:00.000-08:00

Seek FIRST HIS kingdom...

before I put my feet on the floor as I roll out of bed.
when I touch my babes for the first time.
as I pray for family and friends.
over my mind and thoughts and attitude.
when I bless my husband.
before I speak.
while I doodle and sing.
as I look at their faces and know that they need Him to truly feel complete.
when I make decisions, big and small.

SEEK.

Rejoice with those who rejoice.

2012-02-02T06:40:00.000-08:00

After a laughter-filled (late) night with friends, I set my alarm for early morning. Unexpectedly, I was attending a women's breakfast, in hindsight, it was part of a big plan. I'm a big believer in "all things work together for the good", so I can see how my blindness ushered in this revelation all the more.

The woman who was speaking is not a world-renowned speaker. Her clothing isn't flashy. She rarely takes the spotlight away from her husband who usually does the talking. But, she spoke a loud message in her funny, relatable, and powerful voice.

Her son had entered a contest in which votes would determine the winner. He created a video about honor. After asking family and friends and even her church to vote, she was stunned at the reaction of her close walking-buddies. "I'll have to vote for whoever is really the best. I think that someone in the service should win. Is it really fair that you asked your church?". These were some of the things they had to say.

Baffled by her friends reactions, she went home and deliberated. How could such good friends (for 18 years) have such a hard time making a simple vote? Sheesh. And you think you can count on people?! And then, she asked God about it.

God, why would my friends react like this and why are they having such a hard time with voting?

And this was His answer. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15). He said, Sherry, it's much easier to mourn with those who mourn. You need a LOT of Jesus inside of you to be able to rejoice with those who rejoice. Hmm. Ahh. Woowwwwww.

Is it that we think rejoicing for someone else means there will never be enough "rejoicing" for us? Are we jealous? Do we think God isn't big enough to pour out more blessing on our lives?

She went on to tell some true and funny characteristics about central PA people. You know, someone tells you that they like your new car and you pretend that you didn't hide it in the garage so that no one would notice. You have an in-ground pool and you try to minimize it by saying it doesn't have a diving board. You bought a name-brand watch that you were saving up for, but cover it up by a long sleeve sweater.

Why can't we be secure in His blessings and be secure in what He's doing for others?!

We can. You aren't the older brother to the prodigal son. You are ALWAYS loved and there is PLENTY of blessing to go around.

Here are a few other little "nuggets" that I'm chewing on...

God has plans to PROSPER us and not to harm us.
If we hold back our own blessings, we're hiding what God did for us.
It's not me who does these things, it's Jesus.
False humility is holding back our destiny. You can be pitiful or powerful, but not both.
If you're faithful with what He's given, He'll want to give you more.
Appreciate. Celebrate. Rejoice. Use it.
What you focus on, you will find.

REJOICE!

Tues Revues

2012-01-31T18:33:00.000-08:00

Nordstrom, Nordstrom. Where art thou?! Believe it or not, this Grantville-raised girl was first introduced to the department store in COLLEGE. Yes, COLLEGE! It took me 20 years to walk the BP section, Savvy, and TBD. Alas, 10 years later and I am still coming back for more. My girl from the west side, Natalie, helped with my recent purchases from Nordstrom.com. Hallelujah, free shipping and boxes outside my front door. Check out some major sales right now and if you need some cute new slippers, THESE are super cozy.

PODZ tanning goggles. These colorful eye covers snap on to your keychain and fold up into a super small carrying case. After the gym, there's no need to bring in a bag with your goggles, just get out your keys. Convenient!
(Photo courtesy of http://www.specialk.com/cereals/fruit-and-yogurt/)

I kind of like cereal...a lot. For a few months I was dairy-free, but now I reward myself with a bowl after a hard workout. Special K Fruit and Yogurt cereal is a little addicting, so if you like cereal too, you should probably stop. Here. Unless of course you want to buy a box and see what I mean...

Monday Madness

2012-01-30T06:25:00.000-08:00

I have so much to be THANKFUL for. Here are a few of the first things that come to my mind:
warm, sunny January days
the gym
songs on YouTube at the touch of a button (our fav is We Are Family right now)
healings that take place in MY HOUSE
laughter, even at graduation parties
friends who have BIG God-expectations
tickle fights with my husbando that end up in bloody lips (ok, i could do without the lip-thing, but it's fun to play like kids)

Eric Smith has been a source of deep REVELATION for me in the last couple years. His words are fresh, straight from heaven, and they pierce my reality like a knife. Just a few of his thoughts from last night:
if you're praying for someone and you're getting nervous or if you're concerned if you'll be "successful", you are focused on yourself and not God.
when you take the focus off of yourself, love begins

Eva has been "potty training" for months, but now, we are getting serious. Sweet treats are waiting in the cupboard as the celebratory snack. So far today we are 1 for 2. Here's hoping for an empty snack bag by bed time.

Not the building.

2012-01-26T06:52:00.000-08:00

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1

As I left her house, the children were cheering and waving, "Goodbye! Thanks for coming! See you later! Byyyyye!..."

If I think about the parallel for too long, little dew droplets well up on my eyelids, but the picture is too real to be ignored. In a throne room, so close to the king and too holy for here, they cheer and they watch and they wait. The cloud of witnesses. The ones who have gone before us. The ones who had a short stay here on earth. The ones who departed before their flesh could breathe a just-birthed-breath. They surround us with the anticipation that on "that day" we will be united. A beautiful cheer, encouragement, selfless prayers of the saints, belt out a blissful tune as their hearts beat in unison for the church.

Not the building. The people.

You are not alone. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are surrounded on each side by Father God and the Son and there is enough GRACE to keep you there. NOTHING can pull you away from that seat. The witnesses are applauding for you. He strengthens you.

And when you are weak, remember, He is still strong. And when your flesh is too loud in your ear, overcome the loud with the truth of who you are. And when your eyes are tired, remember the picture of the children. The cheering and waving and the shouting of your name. You. Can DO IT.

Because you were made for it.

Photo This

2012-01-25T04:32:00.001-08:00

Presh-us

2012-01-23T12:40:00.000-08:00

"Ah ha!"

2012-01-22T16:40:00.000-08:00

You know. The moment when the lightbulb in your mind goes off. Something clicks. A distinct memory that will etch itself into your brain forever.

We were listening to them speak about the tragedy that recently struck their family. Their family used to include 10 children. Now, they have 7. They have seven. The car accident took their 2 twin sons and their daughter, but it didn't take their faith. It didn't shake them. It didn't make them turn on Him or shake their fist at a terrible God. No, no. Just the opposite. They ran to Abba Daddy's arms and let Him hold them when they felt weak and knew that He was still strong.

So much to say. So much to take in. When they spoke on Wednesday night I was impacted by the words of the father. Mark fashioned his words so eloquently. You could tell they were flowing from his heart, raw and inspiring. His message wasn't of defeat or death or sadness. It was so much more. It was a message of a hope that never fails. A God that never, no never, stops loving. They were words that described the "mountaintop view" of life.

Mark said this, "If you want more of God, invite your friends over to your house". Hmm. Huh? That's it???

Yeah, that's it. Because God is not stuck in a church building. He doesn't hide out in religious meetings or dusty books. He's alive and He's inside of YOU and ME. Do you get it?! HE'S IN YOU AND IN ME!!!

We are the temple. He created us so perfectly, in His image, just so He could dwell within us so that HIS glory could be known. So, invite your friends over. They are carrying Him. They have pieces that you don't and you need them. The minute you start judging them you lose the sight that God sees when he looks at them. He has a heavenly perspective. Seeing us as we were created. Believing in the destiny that we were created for.

I'm so full of this new joy. The anticipation of what He's going to say through you...and you...and you.

If you have something to say, please SAY IT! Any fresh words? A thought? A picture? Dream? I'd love to hear what's on your heart/mind. Have a blesssssed week.

Photo This

2012-01-18T13:02:00.001-08:00

Tues Revues

2012-01-17T04:57:00.000-08:00

After joining the gym last week, I realized the need for some good tunes while I'm running. What I found is totally fulfilling, the Bethel Podcast. It's free. It's revelatory. It changes my heart while I'm changing my body. Two pluses! Check out "Sermon of the Week" from Bethel Church on iTunes. You won't be disappointed.

Grace and Jeremy, superawesomerad friends of ours, doused us with a delicccccious concoction this weekend. In the midst of winter, when you need a refreshing kick, try this simple homemade limeade. You will not be sorry.
lime
simple syrup
Pierre
Absolute Citron (or not. whatev.)

Rook has now been made (by the Amish) into a board game called Rook Board (creative, eh?!). We love games. I mean, the atmosphere during games is always filled with laughter, drinks, good friends, great conversation. What's not to love. Anyway, Rook Board is a super fun game that uses logic and team work. Yup, team work. Look for it at your local Amish stand.

So, over Christmas I was looking for gift ideas and I stumbled along a blog with a post about the "perfect lipstick". Supposedly this color looks good on every user, no matter the complexion. The writer was so sure, she did a photo shoot with her staff to prove that this color is quintessential to every woman. Click HERE for the hippest lipstick in your purse.

Monday from Brandon's View

2012-01-16T16:29:00.000-08:00

I walk around the corner and Brandon is laughing out loud to himself.
"What's so funny?" I ask.
Still smirking, he colors this picture for me...

He says, He's downstairs and he can hear me singing, "Freedom reigns in this plaaaaaaace. Showers of glory and grace. Falllin----"

Baby crying.

(Me) "Do not put that on his head (to toddler). Would you like water on your head (squeezing wet wash cloth on toddler's head)?"

Toddler crying.

Me "Ok then. Do to others what you would like them to do to you!"

"----fallling on every face, there is freedom."

And that about sums up a mom's life!

5 Minute Friday- AWAKE

2012-01-13T08:49:00.000-08:00

5 Minutes: GO

The first scenes to come to my mind are from the movies, The Matrix and Inception. I love how our bodies can be fully alert, awake, whether we are wide-eyed or eyes-closed. Sleep is really awake. Your dreams are awake. Your deep breathing while eyes-closed is still awake.

Neo and the dreamers, Cobb and Ariadne, sleep to the world, but fight forces larger than life in their minds. Whoa. It takes the revelation in their minds in order to do the "stuff" when the are physically awake.

Here is a quote from Jane Roberts, "Dreaming or awake, we perceive only events that have meaning to us."

So, let's be awake this weekend, wide-eyed or eyes-closed.

Happy Friday!

Proph Pics

2012-01-11T12:02:00.000-08:00

Tues Revues

2012-01-10T06:36:00.000-08:00

I gotta give it to...drum roll...

PINTEREST!

So many good ideas that come to fruition from one website. Check it, www.pinterest.com.

I made three recipes this weekend and each one was pure deliciousness. Saturday, some Mexican Chicken Lime Soup, which kicked out any germs that we may have breathed in at the Farm Show. Sunday, Pesto Grilled Cheese and I threw in some avocado too. Yum! Yesterday, Cilantro Lime Chicken Salad. I have made a few good tasting chicken salads, but none compare to this fresh, distinct flavored concoction. My girlies were back for seconds during craft night. Did I mention that all of these recipes were found on PINTEREST?!

A new blog that I stumbled upon, Let Birds Fly, shows fantastic pics for DIY projects, parties, and a photo'folio that is totes inspiring.

Oh, and I can hardly forget to mention a new app for the iPhone. It's called FX Photostudio. If you like to edit and (my fav) add text directly on a photo, this app is totally worth the $.99. Check it out a preview HERE.

A thankful heart...

2012-01-09T12:50:00.001-08:00

1. Warm, sunny, January days.
2. Play dates with friends from my own neighborhood! Say "yes" to community living.
3. New recipes from Pinterest that are rocking my world. Seriously, check ma boards.
4. Toddler buddies who play like brothers/sisters with my beebs.
5. A black notebook that is filling me with fresh ideas and organization.
6. Family dinners and friends who invite me and my family for a meal. What. A. Blessing!
7. Shopping by myself, at least once a week.
8. New Kardashian Episodes (Did I just say that out loud?)
9. A baby who sleeps until 7am, onthedot.
10. His presence in my home, not just in a big church building, in my home.

Five Minute Friday: Roar

2012-01-06T04:33:00.000-08:00

5 Minutes: GO

Like a lion. A sound belonging to those who dare step over the boundaries. Do you dare hear the roar?It may mean walking on the wild side. It may mean losing your defenses and opening up, succumbing to the powerful sound. It may mean losing your life.

It's a movement. A group of people all together with one voice. One heart. Tense stomach, from the inside, let go of all sound and fear of man. Shoooooouuuuuuttttttt!!! Do you hear the roar? That's a roar.

At the starting line, the race is about to begin. The roar of engines. Ready. Ready to embrace the next race. There is a roar ready to be unleashed. Each driver like minded. The goal, winning.

Close my eyes, and I see little toddlers squealing and spinning in circles. Your praise is on in the background. They're laughing. They're free. And I hear you say, "this is a roar that tramples the enemey."

STOP

Bring out your mess

2012-01-05T06:27:00.001-08:00

You may think your story is a muddy brown. It may look to the outsiders like a boring green or a bright shade of red. Even still, some might want the color you have and not be secure in their own.

But, here's the thing...

Jesus uses color, all colors, for a plethora of purposes. THEY ARE ALL PURPOSEFUL. None created without a purpose. And, as soon as you can recognize the purpose, you can be completely useful and completely whole and completely satisfied in Him. No color left behind.

Check out the painting again. Do you see what I see?

The week in Pics

2012-01-04T06:32:00.001-08:00

Tues Revues

2012-01-03T05:39:00.000-08:00

Or, Tuesday Reviews for all of you grammatically correct bloggers.

As of yesterday, a new blog has grabbed my attention. Check out Nest of Posies. This girl has a great color scheme, delicious taste, and a plethora of DIY ideas. Thank you Pinterest for helping me find this sassy lady.

If you checked out yesterday's post, be sure to jot down the Pork and Sauerkraut Recipe. It will not disappoint. The extra sweetness of the brown sugar and the saltiness of the butter, gave our meal the finishing touches. Oh, and making sure to turn the crock pot to warm as soon as the internal temps hit 160F. Brandon wiped the last drips of sauerkraut from his bearded chin and said, "It was good". Very profound. ;)

Lastly, these Wish Nails have me wishing for a personal manicurist. There is something profound about this little artist getup on your nails. What do you think? Would you try to paint them yourself?

Happy New Year!!!

2012-01-02T12:02:00.000-08:00

You know the word, A Thankful Heart Prepares the Way...

Thankfully Preparing the Way for 2012

1. A warm home and snuggly covers in the morning.

2. Children who will busy themselves while Brandon and I can chat in the morning.

3. BIG breakfasts, never void of yogurt. Eva needs her YoYoYogurt!

4. Aslan is the happiest boy when he wakes up. It warms my heart to hear his sweet voice.

5. Space. A space for work and a space for play. A space for sleep. You fill every space.

6. Encouraging friends to ring in the new year with. Long time bestie laughs that never get old.

7. Family. A harvest waiting. Waiting. Waiting, to hear a fresh word.

8. New recipes and old PA Dutch goodies. Pork and Sauerkraut? Absolutely delish!

9. 50 degree weekends in December and January. LOVE it.

10. A fresh start on a new year. Embracing the same spirit in me, that raised Him from the dead. Living alive.

Merry Restoration

2011-12-25T01:24:00.001-08:00

It's been my prayer over the last 3 days, "God, restore my kids back to perfect health". They've been sick, sicker than I've ever seen, and yet still filled with glimmers of joy and hope.

See, there has been a voice humming in my ear, the talks of a terrible Christmas, the "why now", the whiny selfishness that didn't want to miss allll of those holiday parties.

But, there is an even louder voice that trumps the enemy. This mighty whisper reminds me...it's not about me anyway. It's not even about 2 precious and sick children. It's about a frightened, young, woman who said, "yes", and a God who would choose to humbly come greet us, as a baby boy. A helpless, pure, baby.

And He is enough. Beyond every sickness in my children, beyond every holiday party, even beyond Christmas eve services, He is enough for me.

So, merry restoration. A child was born to save us all...and He did! Celebrate, no matter what is in front of you. No matter what your day looks like, He is worthy.

Merry Christmas!

Prepping for the Birthday Celebration

2011-12-16T12:31:00.001-08:00

The house is ablaze with Christmas jingles, talks of Him, lights, ElfHomeAloneChristmasVacation, and sooo many delicious treats. What I'm most thankful for though, is friends to share it all with. It's been a blessed month and it's not over yet! Cheers to a great weekend!!!

Peace Like a River

2011-12-11T17:28:00.000-08:00

Brandon walks in the door after helping a friend paint for a few hours. It's Saturday morning and I've been home with the kiddos.

THIS is what the house looks like (except you can only see half the picture).

Eva and I were in the kitchen whisking ingredients for banana bread, ignoring the atrocious mess that was built in the living room. Anyway, Brandon walks into the kitchen after passing the mountain and says, "It looks like someone had a lot of fun today!"

That was it. That simple statement sent me into a tailspin. If I would have walked into the house, after being gone for the morning, and seen that mess, I probably would have reacted a little differently. Ok, let's be honest. I would have thought a lot of things and, "It looks like someone had a lot of fun today!" would not have been one of them.

It's so good to have perspective. What I've been asking myself daily (hourly, by the minute) is, where is my perspective? Is it peace-like-a-river from a mountain top perspective or is it anxiety stricken from an in-the-trenches perspective?

The Moon is Back

2011-12-04T18:12:00.000-08:00

I never wrote in a baby book for Eva or Aslan. I never printed pictures for a photo album. I did, however, start this blog a few weeks after finding out I was preggo with my first babe. Thus, posts like this one. A place to record the moments I do not want to forget.

Eva: Mama, where's the moon at?
Me: (trying to put kids in car) I don't know.
Eva: God took it.
Me: He'll give it back.
Eva: Yeah, Jesus will put it back.

2 DAYS LATER, MOON HAS RETURNED

Eva: (screaming for all neighbors and dog-walkers to hear) GOD PUT THE MOON BACK!!! GOD PUT THE MOON BACK!!!
Me: Yes, He did. Yes...He did.

Enter through the Narrow Gate

2011-12-01T13:23:00.000-08:00

Anyone can wake up with judgement in their eyes, curse on their tongue, and anguish in their heart. It is the one who wakes with eyes to the throne, bless in their mouth, and peace in their heart, who will enter through the narrow gate. It may be tempting to partner with the devil, but your race is already run, and you're already on the winning team.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it." Matthew 7:13

An Award? What??? Me?!

2011-11-28T11:31:00.000-08:00

I have been given a blogger award. What an honor!

It's called the Liebster Award

This award is given to bloggers who have fewer than 200 followers all in the spirit of fostering new connections. Liebster is German and means ‘dearest’ or ‘beloved’ but it can mean favorite.
Since I can only choose 3, I wish to acknowledge the three following blogs for their diverse styles of blogging. They are unique with what they share and contribute to the world of blogging.

1. Yana, over at Heart Go Boom-Boom, journals about life as a mom, wife, and fashionista. She keeps it real and shares the good, the bad, and the ugly. Check it.
2. Claire Pelella Photography. Words don't do it justice. Her pictures will wow you and make you want to dig for your phone and set up an appointment. It's that good.
3.Evelyn Laurel, my sweet cousin and her growing family. If you have the baby itch, check our her growing cuteness.

This award was given to me by my bestie over at Check...1...2...3.... Thanks for the shout out and the blog-ego-boost!

Backtracking-To Thanksgiving and Beyond

2011-11-28T11:19:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving was at our house this year and I can honestly say that I wouldn't have changed a thing. Because you may still be getting out of vacay mode, I'll post pics so your Monday-Brain doesn't have to work so hard.Eva's turkey hand. A little favor for all the fams.
Chocolate covered strawberries are a Thanksgiving tradition in our family, dating back to the early 2000's. Seems so long ago.
Someone got caught up in the Macy's Day Parade.
Propped and preppy.
Homemade applesauce for the first time.
Someone made it to the "big" table.
A girl never forgets where the money comes from. In this case, my dad's wallet...in his back pocket. This kept us laughing for quite some time.

Thanks I Am Giving

2011-11-23T13:11:00.001-08:00

From morning to night, my thanks grows. Too blessed to be stressed!

1. The presence in the quiet of my morning, waking up to greet me.
2. A growing legacy, Eva and Aslan, and a kickass partner to share them with.
3. Food in the house, always enough.
4. Rich conversation over meals, thought provoking and laugh out loud moments.
5. Crafting and learning. I'm thankful to teach both and be taught both.
6. Freedom to go. Throw the kids in the car and go.
7. Friends that enrich my life as angels enrich the throne. Honestly, they are that good.
8. DiamondBack, an outlet and divine placement for B to work and play (at home nonetheless).
9. Constant revelation from a living God who still speaks to me today.
10. Love that is entwined through all of my other thanks. It permeates and I couldn't live without it.

Blind

2011-11-21T19:29:00.001-08:00

I started this blog 3 times. I'm laying in pajamas, wrestling these letters. The words I'm typing, not sufficient of the big picture I'm seeing.

I started reading the chapter from a metaphoric standpoint. Blind. Hmm, not being able to see. Not whole. Starting out with a deficiency.

It was only 3 verses. 3 sentences. When you don't have a spare hour or two, God will meet you in your spare minute, if we will remember to look for Him.

Where was I? Oh yes, 3 verses. I read the words with fresh eyes and it clicked. "...but this happened that the works of God might be displayed in him."

Here is a man who is blind from birth and it happened because God can use it for His glory. God didn't see the blindness as "unfair" or "sin" or "imperfection", he saw it as good. ALL things work together for the good...He was gonna use this blindness for good.

It's so easy to feel sorrow for yourself because in some areas we are all "blind". We don't look as good as the next guy. We don't play as well as the next guy. We have physical inabilities or mental anxieties. But, God wants to use our imperfections so He can be displayed. It's all His anyway!

Why are some people not healed when we pray? I don't know. Why does it seem some people are born into an unfair circumstance? I don't know. But, I rejoice in the fact that these things are not sin that separates us from God but these happened for His glory.

I'm hoping this is making sense. My eyelids are fluttering. Need. Sleep.

In part

2011-11-10T07:11:00.001-08:00

In the midst of the mourning, the fogginess, the steep climb, or the last stretch of the run...remember that you were made for this. You only see in part, but you are a part of a much bigger plan.

SPA-More than a Massage

2011-11-07T12:35:00.000-08:00

Fresh eyes for the morning and nursing as an alarm clock. This body is awake and ready. The race is set for 8. The location, the Hershey Spa. Stop. Don't click the red circle. This is about more than a girly morning at Hershey's finest. It's about seeking and finding AND a Noche Azul Massage.
The baby was fed, the Daddy pushed me out the door with words, "You deserve this, have a great time, don't worry about a thing." Ahh, me-time. A slow drive to the Hershey Spa, a familiar tune plugged into my speakers. NeedToBreathe, Go Tell it on the Mountain. I don't know why, but I can't get enough of this song. The words, so childlike, yet so powerful, permeating my soul like a knife. Go tell it on the mountains over the hills and everywhere...
This time was different. My mission was alone. Seeking His face in the most peaceful, relaxing, beautiful, manmade place, without a distraction. But then I thought about it. What is a distraction? Where are they? And I concluded, distractions are everywhere, even in the quietest of places, but the distractions cannot pervade if you don't allow them. Be on guard. Don't let your days be filled with distractions, unless your distractions are part of His plan.
Armed with a book, I waited my turn. I was the first one there actually. The entire hotel, spa, lounges, at my fingertips. Wrapped in a robe, I headed towards the waiting room where I snatched a few chocolaty muffins, hot cocoa, and a coffee. Breathe it in. Ahh.
Over by the window, I set my gaze on the pools, perfectly sculptured bushes, and the curving walkways. Beauty, such beauty. God, this is your day. I am so happy to be here in your presence. I am so happy to set my focus on you. I am completely yours this morning. All yours. All yours.
I opened my book to the page where I left off. There was a bookmark there, from months ago, when I sat for the last read. Ann Voskamp writes, "I only see it because I'm looking..." Boom. It hits my chest like a ton of bricks. In every moment, every second, let me be looking. Looking for Him in each moment and waiting to follow His every move. I keep reading. "God gives us time. And who has time for God? Which makes no sense." Forgive me, Jesus. I am so guilty. I want to use this time wisely, each moment, every second.
I barely got through 2 pages, however, my cup is full and overflowing. I read the last paragraph, "Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the things in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing..." I am being pruned for greatness. Keep pruning me God.
"Samantha? Samantha?",the massage therapist was calling my name. It was my turn and I already felt blessed. I already got more than I could have asked for. Ahh, maybe this is what Milton Hershey and Catherine intended for people to receive in their spa. Quiet revelation that money can not buy. Receive it.

Remember

2011-11-04T13:20:00.000-07:00

Today's 5 minute Friday is the word, Remember.

Remember his favorites, the little stocking stuffers that make him tilt his head and whisper, "How'd you remember?"
Remember why you fell in love.
Remember the first date, kiss, the first meaningful conversation, and the only "I do".
Remember why sacrifice is worth it because the model you follow gave up so much more.
Remember the promises in tomorrow and the next day and the next day, all because you chose to make a life together.
Remember the circle on your finger, an elementary promise with college meaning.
Remember he loves you, even on days when you don't feel loved.
Remember your team work and how coming home to him is so much better than when you're alone.
Remember the way your kids' faces beam when they're being tickled, by him, and you get to sit and watch.
Remember.

Freeze, errr, Wax

2011-11-02T18:01:00.001-07:00

HeyTell: So, Sam, what do u think about skipping Costco and coming over to dip leaves in wax?
Me: That sounds like a great plan!

If you ever want inspired, on all levels, check out other ideas and fresh words at Aseedinspired.com

Wholly Weekend

2011-11-01T06:37:00.000-07:00

Yes, lovies, it's Tuesday. I spent the day yesterday cleaning the house, groceries, retraining Aslan to nap, but hey, that's what Mondays are for. These pictures give a glimpse into our weekend. It was FILLED to the brim with friends and fam. Let me tell ya, if you aren't being transformed by who you are surrounded by...then I hope that you are being the one transforming the others. I never mind a little "me time", but this weekend the QT was good for my soul.
Eva finished her unit on Creation with her first felt board. See Adam, Eve, sun, moon, grass, etc.
Jo and Dave hosted a Hallelujah Harvest Party. Oh. my word, it was SO much fun. Lots of laughter, games, and surprises. Can you guess who Brandon and I dressed up as?
Can you guess who Kell and Brandon went as?
Saturday and Sunday we had our first snow! Yeah, I know, crazy. It was absolutely beautiful and a fun surprise for Eva when she woke up. Brandon had on Christmas music and we danced the day away...and made hot cocoa!
Solomon turned 2! Our bestie, Solo, had his second birthday party, a Book Party. He really knows how to host. He topped off the night with the last comic standing...his dad who let the birthday boy smash a pie in his face. Little E is still talking about it!

Aslan Jude

2011-10-29T18:23:00.000-07:00

Some things that you may not know about me:

I'm 19 weeks old, that's over 4 months!
I like to sleep on my belly.
I'm getting teeth. You can tell because I drool and chew on my hand ALL the TIME!
I love to smile (especially at Mama).
Eva's dancing makes me giggle.
I have a lot of chub and a good number of rolls (15 lbs worth).
Most people say that I look like Grandpa Stout.
Getting a bath is a fav of mine. Getting dressed and being cold is not.
I like to use a plug sometimes. My sister just stopped using hers.
If I was allowed, I would watch more TV.
I get the prize for the most peaceful, most chill in the house.
I like to be bargained with. You can talk me out of a bad mood.

5 Minute Friday- Relevant

2011-10-28T08:02:00.000-07:00

Today's word is RELEVANT.

Cut back the skin, the peel, and get to the goodness inside. The pineapple. The avocado. They're relevant. So much noise in our everyday, trying to clutter our relevant. Trying to take our focus off the relevant. Our eyes trying to adjust to this world we were made for, but not made in.

The relevant is seeing the things He hears.
The relevant is doing the things He does.
Saying the things He says.

Mothers and fathers push past the irrelevant and pursue unconditionally. No whining, bad days, or disobedience is enough to cut love from reaching it's child. You are relevant. You are pursued.

STOP.

Art Class

2011-10-27T20:10:00.001-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-26T12:45:00.001-07:00

Quote of the Day Monday

2011-10-24T12:02:00.000-07:00

I caught this quote on Facebook this morning. It has been resonating with me all day...

The hungry listen to learn. The satisfied listen to critique.
-Bill Johnson

I have a burning prayer in my heart for this generation, some having lost their hunger, and becoming engrossed with self. Satisfied. Ugh.

Wake up with a passion for something. Touch someone. SomeONE. It just takes ONE. Be teachable. Want to be taught.

In thought...

Rematch

2011-10-21T04:18:00.001-07:00

This is Part 2. Read yesterday's post first if you have not already.

We left Target chanting, "Eva made a good choice! Eva made a good choice!", all while her eyes were beaming and her smile was from ear to ear. Let me back up.

After dinner we decided to tackle the store again, this time together, since there were still things I needed to buy. Sure, I could have run out alone, but now Brandon and I could tackle this as a team.

We went to Giant first, a typical in-cart trip. Phew! No complaints. Shopping done. Next, Target. Eva muttered "walk" under her breath a few times, reminding us that she had not forgotten the earlier trip.

We walked in, I grabbed a cart, and Brandon started to put her in the seat. Her desperate pleas and wavery voice started getting louder. I take a backseat approach and focus on putting the baby in the cart.

What's this? Silence? Brandon is whispering some type of logic in her ear, to which she sits calmly and becomes distractible. "Eva!", I interject, "Will you help me pick out a big box of crayons?"

And that...was it. Lesson taught. Teamwork in action. Ahh. All in a day's work!

Melt D.O.W.N.

2011-10-20T11:25:00.000-07:00

This post is for anyone who has ever had a temper tantrum. Stop. Reverse that. Anyone who has ever had a TODDLER who had a temper tantrum. In public.

I hopped out of the car, two kids in tow, and lingered into Target. Where else can a mom buy clothes, eggs, and magic erasers all in one stop?! Anyway, it started out bad. I told Eva that she needed to SIT in the cart (unlike what she did with Daddy the week before) so I could shop for lots of food and even crayons if she made good choices. The whining started. "No, Eva walk". And here it goes...downhill.

I knew I had to stick to my guns on this one. There is no way that little E's days in a cart are over. I have way too much shopping to do and there are way too many things for little hands to pull off the shelf. Not. Happening.

I continued to tell Eva that she needed to sit in the cart when she shops with Mama. I told her we had a lot of things to buy, even crayons (this should make her obey, right?!?!), and she needed to sit down so she could be a helper IN the cart. She. Didn't. Budge. After yelling, "no", and threatening backbends on the carpet near the return section, I quickly took Aslan over to the register and made my returns. At least that was out of the way.

Back to Eva, I pick her up and put her in the cart. Her knees won't bend. She's standing on the seat. I firmly go over my requirements one more time (before the threats start) and let her know that this is not up for compromise. Nothing.

So, I start pushing the cart, toddler standing on the seat, until she had to sit down for the mere force of the moving cart. Screams. Tears. Thrashing. ALL OUT TANTRUM. I wait until she needs to take a breath and remind her that there is no crayon small enough for her to earn at this point. I count to 3 and demand quiet. I keep pushing the cart for my Mr. Clean erasers (because she drew on the walls) while the whole store stares at my screaming child. "LOOK PEOPLE, I KNOW YOU CAN'T TELL, BUT I'M ACTUALLY DOING THE RIGHT THING RIGHT NOW, SO STOP STARING!"

After 5 minutes (eternity) of trying to think of remedies, distractions, tactics...I conclude that I need to get the heck out of the store and remind E that she will be on the longest timeout she could ever imagine when she gets out to the car. STILL. FREAKING. OUT. Throw the erasers on a random endcap and head for the car. All while reminding Aslan that he is making such awesome choices and he is doing a great job by loving the cart. Hey, it was worth a try!

Tantrum didn't stop in the car. Crying screams that entire way home. Shouts for Daddy which only concluded in my saying, "Daddy can't wait to talk with you. He is going to be SO SO SAD that you are making bad choices. Daddy will say you need to sit in the cart!" She needed to know we are a team, right?! Daddy isn't going to get her out of this one.

We get home, she goes on timeout upstairs and I have a second to debrief. Sheesh! How does this happen? From the moment my kids have emerged into this world, I have tried to teach what it means to obey. I have tried to listen. I have tried to discipline (I, meaning, we. Brandon has had his fair share). I never taught her to meltdown. I never taught her to disobey. I never taught her to freak out in Target when there are groceries to be bought and presents to be bought!

Can you tell that I'm writing this very close to the actual event?! Maybe I should have given myself more time to compose myself, but here it is. Raw me. This was my kid's meltdown and this is how I handled it. When I went upstairs to talk with Eva, she was calm and composed. When I told her that she was going to sit in the cart from now on and obey Mama, she agreed. She hugged me. She got it.

Until...we went downstairs and Daddy asked her if she was going to sit in the cart next time...and she said no.

Ay yigh yigh.

Laugh Out Loud

2011-10-18T11:50:00.000-07:00

We were bouncing back home from a perfect walk in the fall air. Baby in tow in front and Eva, shoeless, walking at her own speed.

Just at the front door, our neighbor (across the street and down a bit) hobbled outside with her feisty Chihuahua Sweet Pea. There is no passing up a playdate with Sweet Pea.

We turned around and lingered down the street again.

"Eva, Catherine has Sweet Pea out again!"
"Cat Food has Sweet Pea??? Cat Food has Sweet Pea???"

Ahhhhhahahahahaha! Her name is "CAT FOOD?!?!?!" Ahhhhhhahahahahaha!

I hope you find this as funny as I did. "Cat Food" is a sassy, overweight, 69 year old, woman who keeps her eyes on everything that happens in our neighborhood. When the words came out of Eva's house, oh my, kids say the darndest things!

Rachel Ray and Toddler Time

2011-10-16T12:05:00.000-07:00

Take 2 Best Friends...Add 1 toddler...
and another...
Stir in a few sweets...
and VOILA! Pumpkin Whoopie Pies that are the bombdiggity.

Do you see what I see?

2011-10-12T14:53:00.001-07:00

In my toddler's eyes..."A rainbow!!!"

Step Out. Dare Ya.

2011-10-10T11:55:00.000-07:00

Remember in school, the teacher who called on any student at random, even if they didn't raise their hand?! Man, that always made me nervous. It was those teachers that I always made sure my homework was done for and I would actually keep up on the reading.

Growing up Shelly Brown style, I never knew when I would be "called" on. At any moment someone might need a word of prayer or a little worship music might be needed during a local gathering. In the moment, I probably felt a little nervous (ok, really nervous), but afterward the feeling of stepping out and actually being hands and feet on the earth, that feeling is unmatched.

Wednesday night (church), just like back in the "youth group days", Brandon and I were asked to find someone to pray for. We were supposed to pray whatever we were "hearing" and we were praying for people that we don't know. We both paired up with new acquaintances and sat down within a few short minutes. On the way home I admitted that the woman I prayed for was on the "a little strange" list in my head. I had seen her for years, but never had a conversation. The words she prayed over me, spoke directly to my heart and were completely from heaven. Huh. Sam, do not judge. Brandon continued with his "coincidental" prayer in which he spoke promotion and boldness over a guy, who at the end chuckled as he told Brandon about his new job position in which he was going to supervise other employees.

It's in those moments where we step out on the water, not knowing if we will sink or stand, that we choose faith instead of fear. The grocery store. Your family. The kid across the street. Listen to what He's saying to you about them, then go. GO! Be hands and feet. I dare ya. I dare myself!

For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. Luke 21:15

Do it. do it.

2011-10-08T17:50:00.000-07:00

Paulus Orchard was typed into our GPS this morning. Off we ventured to fall, wrapped up in one adventure. It was A BLAST! Go there. Have fun. Make memories with your fam and friends.

On Friends

2011-10-02T18:10:00.001-07:00

It is true, you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends. For this reason, I am utterly indebted to the fabulous group of friends that I've been surrounded by over the past 5 years. I can honestly say that these friends ARE family. These bonds go deeper than blood and our memories will last a lifetime.
What is a friend? Someone who challenges. Someone who can relate. Someone who is trustworthy. Someone to laugh with. Someone to share stories about being a mom with. Someone to HeyTell in the middle of the night. Someone who likes getting picture texts of your kids, just like your family. Someone who inspires greatness. These are a few of the traits that describe my friends.
A true friendship can bring revelation and laughter in one great night. And that, is what I'm feeling about my friends. Stop. (5 minute Fridays are written during a 5 minute time frame)

A Reminder

2011-09-21T12:28:00.000-07:00

I skipped down the stairs, two at a time, stopped midway by a new view. Birds.

Eva helped me fill the bird feeder yesterday, after weeks without seeds for the feathered friends. Within hours of the fill, birds.

Simple as it was, I was given a picture to be reminded of the way He works. If there is fresh food in the feeder, birds will flock to the feeder to eat. If there is fresh food in the house, people will flock to the house to eat. If I am freshly filled with His presence, they will flock to Him who feeds, to eat.

Jesus, I'm hungry. Fill me so that I can give them something to eat.

All in a Day's Work

2011-09-20T12:01:00.000-07:00

Today's lesson: Chewy Brownies with Vanilla Chips

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/chewy-cocoa-brownies/detail.aspx

Cookie Monster

2011-09-16T13:05:00.000-07:00

The kids have had the sniffles for about 2 weeks now. I have pumped them full of vitamins, echinachea, chicken stock, sleep, fresh air, and everything else that I know to do. We've tried vicks, elevating their beds, and bringing then into the bathroom to breath in the warm, moist air. Slowly, and I do mean ssslllooowwwlllyyy, I am going through less tissues and the coughs are subsiding.

All of this to say, a funny thing happened on Sunday at church. I wanted to go, despite the colds because a good friend was in town from NC. Even if I could give her a hug, I wanted to say, "hi" and "happy birthday". I kept Eva out of the nursery since she still had a cold, which meant she would be hanging out with us during worship. Brandon had Aslan in the sling so I took, "Eva duty". Eva usually does stay with us for worship, I figure since we sing and dance and love on Jesus at home together, why not do the same at church together.

A couple songs into the service, Eva was getting antsy. Her usual love for dancing and people-watching must have temporarily left with the warm weather. No prob, moms always have a Plan B in their bag. I pulled out her "cat bag" as she calls it and she sat happily on the FRONT ROW and played with her bag.

Apparently, she was very excited for this new entertainment and her newly found stand-up act. Yes, stand up. Brandon taught her a little charade where she acts like cookie monster and spews things across the living room. LIVING ROOM. NOT the FRONT ROW of church. Well, eyes closed, I'm singing my heart out, until I look down and see the contents of the "cat bag" all over the front of the church!

"Eva, what are you doing?!" I shush in her ear.
"Mama, I'm cookie monster!" she says innocently.

I pick up the contents and she proceeds to show me that the things in the "cat bag" are cookies and she needs to eat them like cookie monster. After all, this is what Daddy taught her!

Now that we are home. I'm laughing out loud.

What have your kids or friends done recently to make you laugh? I wanna laugh too!

A Teacher Always Teaches

2011-09-15T18:24:00.001-07:00

I re-read the title of this post on one of Kelly's pics. It was a picture of me and Solo, nuzzled together, reading the Bible. Ahh.

Another friend mentioned to me an idea about a craft day, getting the kids together to attempt a craft or maybe cook something yummy? The food part is my idea anyway.

Then, Tonya mentions that her Moms-Group meets every Monday to chitchat and get the kiddos together to play.

My mind has been racing with ideas. Eva is at that age where everything new has her completely captured. A new toy, a new word, a dance, recipe, anything new is her fix. She has to have it and learn about it and master it.

Maybe I should start some type of prepreK morning with kiddos in the Burg. Maybe we moms could switch houses and have a fun "lesson" for the kids. I know, for some the thought of this is probably boresville or exhausting, but I am still rolling the ideas around in my mind. A chance for me to teach?! :)

Now that you're in my brain, you will see where today's craft came from. I told Eva we were going to make shapes from her crayons. After some very, VERY, detailed instructions, we came up with this.

Voila! First craft success!
The ingredients: Old crayons, parchment paper (wax paper), iron, and ironing board.

She picked out a heart and a triangle.

Add the heat.

Ta-da! Refrigerator art success!

Addict

2011-09-12T12:37:00.000-07:00

Hi. My name is Samantha, and I'm an addict. I take pictures. I take pictures a lot.
There is nothing like a crisp image to capture a moment in time that will never be again. Photos are a great reminder of how things were. Kids grow so stinkin' fast. Why not snap a few (a lot) of photos to remind myself of their cute faces.

Today's photo shoot.

Bonding

2011-09-10T10:52:00.001-07:00

Rainy days are a perfect compliment to being sick. If you are quarantined inside, may as well be rainy outside. Alas, our week. Both kids have snotty noses and loose, wet coughs. It's so hard to keep one kid healthy if the other has caught a bug. Near impossible.

I have found a peace this week that enjoys snuggling inside, coloring pictures, playing hide-n-seek, and cooking lots of meals together. It is more fulfilling than venturing to the outside world. Plus, it's SO much easier to stay home!

Brandon is at a PSU game with his dad today, hence, the kiddos and I are inside snuggling again. I pulled out the fall wreath and set out the new fall candle, Cranberry Crisp.

I do plan on taking a quick jaunt to the craft store to pick up a plethora of beads to bedazzle a few pumpkins. What are you doing this weekend? Anything involving fall? Family? French fries?

Restoration

2011-09-06T11:46:00.000-07:00

Put down the iPhone. Turn off the reruns that you've seen a thousand times. Meal planning can wait. Dinner will be done in the perfect time.

Lay yourself down. Turn off the lights. Listen. Restoration.

Skooter? Car? Truck? Suv? Van?

2011-09-06T05:16:00.000-07:00

Picture this.

Walking to car from grocery store. Open trunk. Stroller and 2 bags with return items (it's probably the only time I would ever use the word "items") in them. No vacancy.

Walk to front of passenger side. Open door. Seat is 4 inches from touching dashboard. No vacancy.

Back seat is full. Two car seats. No vacancy.

Why did we buy an SUV if it doesn't have any more room for all of our stuff?! Ugh, this totally sounds like a quote from, First Word Problems, a hilarious Twitter Feed.

Unfortunately, when we bought the Jeep we didn't give the ol' backseat a test run with a car seat. The car seats are SO deep that the passenger seat is literally a couple inches away from the dash. It's kinda scary to think what would happen to my knees in an accident. My dancer friend, Jo, tried to hitch a ride the other day and the pool girl was almost riding side-saddle, just to keep her long legs from knockin'.

So, this rant is really a plea for help. If we are vehicle searching, which we may be and have been for quite a while, what is the best family car out there? One rule: I'm not a van-type-of-mom. I love those who are, it's just not me. Should we lease? Do we really need 4-wheel drive?

Help!

It's that time again...

2011-09-03T11:37:00.001-07:00

T, over at A Seed Inspired, taught me a valuable life lesson 2 years ago. If you're not into something, try embracing it with all that ya got, and see if you don't change your mind. At that moment in my life, it was Fall. Yes, I know, for thousands of you Fall is the pinnacle point in the year when happiness sets in, but for me, it was the sign of cooler weather, no more pool days, and a milky white skin that replaces a gorgeous tan.

Since then, however, I have a new appreciation for Fall. I am embracing the radical colors of changing leaves, the boots I've been waiting all summer to zip up, and watching the kiddos shout and coo at a Penn State game. Today marks the first "Fall Event" in our family, Penn State's first game. Go LIONS!!!

Lyme Disease

2011-09-02T11:59:00.000-07:00

Gramps holding Aslan, his only great-grandson.

Today's post is a tribute to Grandpa Stout. Within the past couple years, Gramps was diagnosed with Lyme Disease. This under-researched disease has taken a toll on Grandpa's health and his quality of life. The statistics are hideous compared to the known cures and treatments.
Check out the statistics here: http://www.cdc.gov/lyme/stats/

Grams and Gramps listening to Eva play piano!

Aslan Jude

2011-08-31T13:27:00.000-07:00

He's 10 weeks old. His eyes are like deep blue, handblown glass. His skin reflects Grandpa Stout's heritage. He's stolen my heart.

To Have Kids is to Be One

2011-08-27T19:00:00.000-07:00

Hurricane Irene had nothing on our Sabbath. We had clear skies for the fair, and we even managed a couple loaves of bread before the droplets overcame our windows. I love days like today as much as the kids. Truth be told, maybe even more. I realized why grandparents love their role so much. Not because they can give the kid back at the end of the night, no. It's because they have one more opportunity to act like a kid! One more opportunity to blow bubbles and play dressup without looking like a weirdo.
Without further ado, our Sabbath in pictures:

Something happened today. You know when you pass by the FedEx truck for the millionth time? Only this time you see the arrow between the "E" and the "X" for the first time. It's that, "How could that have been there all along and I never noticed it?" moment. That's what happened this weekend. For the first time...to be continued...

For the Man

2011-08-26T07:52:00.000-07:00

It's been one of those days. It started with a 6am puke ALL over me, down my shirt and soaking my hair. The toddler woke up on the wrong side of the crib. Three timeouts by the time breakfast was ready. The washer is broken. We packed the car and drove downtown to a shanty appliance store (insert "What was I thinking?"). Nothing. Just junk. Back home, a sleeping baby in the car (for about 5 seconds) and a latte that is an hour past due.

Stop. I've gotta be thankful for something. The man. The dad of our house. He can tell when I'm stressed or just having a lousy day and he steps in to do the job with a smile. Before I could ask, he had said toddler in the car and the dogs put away. My bag was hanging on the banister, ready for me to grab and go. Ya know, it's the little things that show someone you care. Thinking of their needs before they get a chance to meet them on their own.

That being said, find a few things, maybe a lot of things, that you can be thankful for today. What has your hubs done for you that you may have let go unnoticed? I guarantee he will be more excited to jump in again if you give him a few props.

Cheers to the weekend!

Post Preggo Craves

2011-08-25T17:30:00.000-07:00

According to "KellyMom", a great website for nursing moms, I can consume an extra 300-500 calories per day to satisfy my babe's appetite. My post-preggo craves have been somethin' fierce. I can't say that I enjoy these midday and evening cravings (especially since I'd like to work on the baby-body that I've been left with), but I have had a keen sense for food/snacks/desserts, you name it.

Likes, as of, lately:

Mango Tea-Fresh tea leaves, courtesy of St. Thomas Roasters and Monin Syrups

Honey Nougat Decaf Latte-Ice, Decaf Espresso, Ghirardelli White Mocha Powder, Monin Hazelnut, and Almond Milk

CEREAL-I'm completely addicted. Breakfast, snacks, before bed, anytime. I've cut out dairy and thank God for Almond Milk. I had gone 3 weeks without cereal until I found the delicious substitute.

Arugula Salad with Cranberries, Feta, and Brianna's Ginger Mandarin

Avocado- in or on anything. The other day, an open-faced turkey sandwich on wheat with ranch, provolone, and thin slices of avocado. All grilled to perfection for a few minutes in the oven. Yummm!

See what I mean?! It sounds like I'm still pregnant, but let me assure you, I'm not. What are your craves lately? New favorite restaurants? I'd love to hear what you're eating in your home.

Morning Mood by Edward Greeeeeeg

2011-08-19T07:34:00.000-07:00

At least that's the way I remember my music teacher pronouncing it in elementary school. The practically perfect mornings have opened the door to walks with the kids. The jogging stroller has opened the door to runs with the babe. Either way, the mornings plus the outside equal a refreshing start to a new day.

Kelly sent me a HeyTell message (a free app for your iPhone, a must have) this morning and suggested I blog about my morning walks, and her message was coincidentally after a morning full of clarity. (Picture from our walk)

I was running by myself, teeth unbrushed, hair unkept, makeup nonexistent, but my soul kept crying out the lyrics from an old Third Day song.

Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I’ve been trying to find my way,
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without You

Regardless of my physical mess, I felt whole and complete as the words of this song sang from my mouth as I inhaled and exhaled my run. I've realized that when we're lacking, we can sit in our "lack" or we can ask. Simple. Just ask.

God, give me a revelation. I want to know you more. I want to know your entirety, nothing missing, nothing broken. Speak to me in all of your creation. Each part is crying out to you and I want to hear what they're saying.

Beach Trip Summary

2011-08-16T18:20:00.000-07:00

Wowzer. I can't believe we are back from the beach. What a whirlwind of good times, bad times, and lots of sun. It's true, there were moments on vacay which I look back upon in exhaustion, but at least those moments were at the beach. Two babies and a side of stuffiness made it a rough couple of days for this mama. Aslan was pulling all nighters as he tried to breath through his stuffed nostrils. What a sad sound to hear in the middle of the night, your infantino trying to sleep. Let's put emphasis on the word, "trying". Anyways, I'm not complaining (although it sure does sound like it). A seven day, friend filled, ocean, sand, heat, sun, eat-a-lot, drink-a-lot, memorable vacation was what I do want to remember. I won't give you the play by play, but I will show you our week in pictures. Enjoy!

Our first family vacation as a 4-some.

Auntie Jo and Uncle Dave were a sweet addition this year. Eva would bring them home in her pocket if she could.
Solomon and Eva. BFF's for Life!

Our camp looked something like this. Brandon would pull the caddy to the beach every day. We filled it to the brim with our chairs and toys.
Too funny that Kells and I would both marry a "Brandon". If I said that Eva didn't like the ocean, it would be an understatement. She was terrified of the waves. She did, however, look for seashells and share them with her besties.
I believe this is his, "It's hot as hell please get me inside" look.
The girls like to tan and chat. The boys like to play Bocce Ball.
This was the first time we have ever had a house on the sound. Brandon and Brandon took a jaunt down the pier every hour (ok, maybe not that often) to set crab traps. On Thursday, it was a seafood feast. Yum!
I am surrounded by the most amazing, inspirational, driven, women that I know. I'm blessed, I know.
Sunset on the sound. This was our view every night at dinner. Soak it in. Pure Perfection.

Beach Bound

2011-08-04T14:17:00.000-07:00

A vacation in Myrtle Beach before we had the wee-ones.In between diaper changes, nursing, and cooing over my cute kids, my mind is off in another place. THE BEACH! Alas, vacation has made its way to our lives. Sunday we leave for Emerald Isle for 7 days. A beach trip with friends is ALWAYS a blast.
I'll do my best to keep you posted. No promises.

iPhone Glory

2011-07-26T17:43:00.000-07:00

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105

The house is quiet. My eyes are drowsy. I let my legs carry me to Eva's room, one last glance at the sleeping babe and a mama's prayer over her life. The iPhone. I press the Home button to keep me walking a straight path in the dark. Knocking into a wall could open the eyes of these little angels. Without the light, I can't see what's in front of me and I can't get to my goal. Resounding in my mind are these words, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path".

If I want to see, I need to remember the light and where it comes from.

Shweetums is Turnin' TWO-Superhero Style

2011-07-24T18:16:00.000-07:00

Two years ago. Driving home from dinner. First contraction sensations. Goodnight. Wake up. A growing wave of contractions throughout the day. 9:00pm, arrival at the birth center. 11:35pm, arrival of Eva Sephora Stout Moist.

Her name means Life of a Beautiful Bird. She is life to all those around her. She has no need to worry, because like the bird of the field, her daddy has taken care of all her needs.

This is a snapshot from her birthday weekend...
The birthday girl's fam of 4Brunch Foods: Fruit, Scones, Yogurt, Muffins (thanks Kristen)
Bubbles with Jeremy
Grace Kelly's Cake Pops. Delicious!
Eva's Bodyguards

The Kid Version B-I-B-L-E

2011-07-22T14:07:00.000-07:00

How is it that I can go a week and a half without writing and then in 1 day I can write twice?! Well, it's because of these kiddos. That's right. I'm blaming it on the kids. The toddler and the babe to be exact. I am actually enjoying the spontaneity of our days. The babe is teaching me to be careless. Not the kind of careless where you don't care about the important stuff. The kind of careless where you let the dishes sit, the vacuum collect dust, and you have a staring contest with the most handsome little tiny man in the world (my son of course).

Today is the day before Eva's 2nd birthday party and both kids have been sleeping for almost 3 hours! Did you gasp? Because I can hardly believe it myself. All the party prep is done (thanks to my mama and sista) and I am sitting with the ol' Mac and a glass of mint tea. Iced mint tea, of course, it's a freaking furnace out there.

One of the reasons I am so smitten about writing is because I have SO many things going on in my head, so many revelations and questions, yet not enough hours in the day to process or write them down and come back. SO, I wanted to tell you about this little whisper I heard while putting Eva down for a nap last week.

I carried her upstairs to the loft (3 flights of stairs, her bedroom) and tossed her on the big-girl. She loves to sit on the big-girl bed and read books. Today's book of choice: the Bible. As I thumbed through the pages, I quietly asked God for a revelation. "Jesus, come alive in these words. I know that it's a kid's book, but these words are still living and breathing and I know you can speak through anything (even a stupid donkey!)." We passed the creation, Noah, Abraham...and then the 10 commandments. Honestly, I skip this story all the time because I think about how much Eva is actually going to understand from the lofty language. But, unlike the other days, I really felt like I should read this.

The 4th commandment. Keep the sabbath day holy. Except, in Eva's Bible it says to set this day aside and make it special. Now, I know that this little revelation might just be for me, but setting one day aside and making it "special" is SO doable. In fact, making a day "special" actually seems like a lot of fun. Is God really asking me to set aside a day, make it purposeful, make it one-of-a-kind, and dedicate it to God?! Man, I think that I have found a new favorite day of the week.

Now I know that I just had a baby (4 weeks old already!) and maybe I'm not making much sense, but the commandment never came alive in me until I spent those moments with Eva. Thank you Jesus, for meeting us right where we are. Some are in offices, some are in classrooms, and some of us are in bedrooms getting whispered to by our kids. Thank you.

Wordless Wednesdays

2011-07-13T12:28:00.001-07:00

It has all been Redeemed!

2011-07-11T17:44:00.000-07:00

It started with a quiet morning, a beautiful sunrise, and a chair in Aslan's room. My body had sunk into the brown microfiber as I nursed him for the third time since Monday began. Flashback-pain, anxiety, fear. I stare out the window for more clarity. Redemption has come. And when we choose to grab a hold of Him, we redeem the things that are rightfully ours, but have been laid on a dusty shelf, unclaimed. My mind races through a maze of instances.

What is rightfully mine, yet, I have left it behind...
What is rightfully been claimed for me, yet, I haven't grabbed a hold of it...
What is rightfully mine, and I have lept through fields in order to keep it, become it, and spread the good news about it...

Redemption. It started with a quiet morning, a beautiful sunrise, and a chair in Aslan's room.
Take a hold of it for yourself. You'll see what I mean.

First Day Flying Solo

2011-07-06T05:04:00.000-07:00

6:30am. Baby is crying. Time to feed. Thank you Jesus, nursing is so much less painful this time around. Baby is fed and asleep. Get dressed and clean up downstairs. Goodbye Brandon! Enjoy your first day back at the office. Baby is awake. Hungry. Feed. SPIT UP ALL OVER ME AND THE COUCH AND THE DOG. Clean up time. 9:15am. Eva is awake! Hi beautiful! Be there in a second. Get Eva dressed while Aslan is in his swing. Come downstairs. Eva says, "MILK!" Aslan SPIT UP AGAIN ALL OVER THE SWING. Clean up time. Throw laundry in the hamper. Glance at bed. DOG PEED ON MY NEW COMFORTER!!! Steam spewing from my ears. Clean up time.

Feed Eva. Put kids in the car and head to Target. Make 2 returns while the kids are angels. Even have time for Eva to sit on the "big red ball" outside the store. I'm on top of the world. Drive home. Forgot I needed to mail a birthday package at the postoffice. Turn around. Ten people in front of me at the post office. Patience Sam, patience. Kids did great. Thank you Jesus!

Home. Feed. Barney is on repeat these past 2 weeks. Eva plays outside in the pool and sand box while I get lunch ready. Eat. Aslan is still awake and loving to be held. Why didn't I buy the Ergo again??? Counting down the minutes until nap time. 1:45pm. 2:00pm. 2:15pm. Milk. Prayers. Nighty-night. Feed Aslan. Nighty-night.

Both kids asleep. I pretty much rock. I did it. Now, what can I do? Nap? No. Make dinner? Yes. I can make dinner. Salad. Sandwiches. Freshly brewed mint tea. Don't forget a pickle. Eva's awake. An hour earlier than usual. Oh well. She's happy and I'm not about to fight over an hour when she's already slept two. Aslan is still sleeping. Play time with Eva. I LOVE this. Counting down the minutes until Daddy is home. Eva is watching for him out the window. And...He. Is. Home.

I survived my first day at home without friends or family to keep us company. Our newly formed family of 4, minus Daddy for the day. I'd like to think the day looked like a heartbeat on one of those doctor machines. Ups and downs followed by ups and downs. But, we are all hear to tell about it. Remember it. So, I'd say my job here is done. On to tomorrow...

P.S. I LOVE having 2 kids. ;)

4th of July Weekend

2011-07-05T13:28:00.000-07:00

Welcome

2011-07-01T12:52:00.000-07:00

An open invitation to come, drink, and leave filled. Joyous laughter and heart mending sincerity. I've been lavished upon these last 2 weeks. Baby Aslan has entered my heart and home and in all my mess, I have been cared for and loved while I've given until bloody. Poured out until empty. Birth is such a spiritual act. It's purity at the very core. A humble being, from God's own womb to mine, and then emerging to dirty hands and imperfections. I welcome grace. I welcome joy. I welcome patience. And He fills me. It's unending and I will keep asking. Fill me again. Fill me again. And He says, you are welcome.

His-Story

2011-06-22T12:27:00.000-07:00

Aslan Jude Stout Moist
7 lbs, 14 oz. - 19 3/4 in long

Saturday morning and Saturday night. I'm gonna sum this day up to these words: False Alarm. After walking around the neighborhood and timing contractions...nothing. Dunzo. They gave out on me. No baby boy. Monday morning, however, is when His-Story was created. 4am, I awake to a contraction. A REAL contraction that felt like a cramp. As the stubborn German, I decide to go back to sleep. This was probably another false alarm. 6am, I awake to a contraction. A REAL contraction that felt like a cramp. After this, there was no going back to sleep. The line from Home Alone came to me and I could picture the scene in my head, "This is it. Don't get scared now!"

6:07am, I text my mom. The plan was for her to spend time with Eva while I labored and birthed. I endured a couple contractions while texting and tapped Brandon vigorously on the shoulder. "Babe, I think we should time these contractions." He laid like a statue, still comatose from the deep sleep. I started the tapping again. "Babe, this is the Callthemidwifealreadycalledmymomwearehavingthebaby contractions!" That did it. Out of bed, dressed, down the stairs, and ready to walk and time these surges. 6:19, I called the midwife. After dressing myself and slipping on a pair of earrings (a birthing tradition), I joined him at the front door. Contractions were about 3 minutes apart from the beginning and after walking for 45 minutes, I couldn't keep walking while I was having one.

At 7am our instincts told us to move inside and prepare the lower level for birthing. Our midwife, Mary, had prepared us with a list of all the items we'd need for a home birth. All the odds and ends were downstairs, waiting for the time to be used. Brandon covered the couch and floor with fresh sheets and shower curtain liners and I lit candles and turned on the worship music in between contractions. Mary, the midwife, was on her way. At 7:15, I needed to pee (who gave bodily functions permission to operate during labor anyway?!) and crawled up the first step at the bottom of the stairs. Contraction. Pop! "Brandon, something just popped!" A gush of water filled my leggings. That, my friends, was the water breaking. It was actually a really cool feeling and a definite sign that this baby was on his way.

Forgetting about having to pee, I waddled my way back to the trunk that we use as a coffee table. I put a pillow on top for a soft landing and thought back to Mary. Yes, MARY! "Brandon, how long until she's here?" 7:24, he quickly grabbed his phone and called. 15 more minutes. As I breathed slowly during each passing contraction, I could feel him moving down. I wasn't pushing or tensing, but my body was bringing this little life into the world.

7:42am. Brandon doesn't have to catch the baby. Mary walks in and prepares to catch herself. There were no checks. No questions asked. It's as if she knew and sensed that he was moments from birthing. My body continued to contract and push him out. Mary gave me a play by play, like I was watching an ESPN commentary. Only, this was cooler than the Superbowl and more "intense" than a fight on the field. My contractions pushed Aslan's head out without a single push. The next and final birth...the shoulders and body. With a cry to Jesus and a single push, Aslan's voice resounded for the first time in our lives. 8:06am. He has a story.

The Arrival...

2011-06-21T13:23:00.000-07:00

A few things that I will need to expound upon within the near future:

I believe in miracles.

I have a placenta in my refrigerator.

Azlan was born 2 hours and 6 minutes after I woke up yesterday.

Azlan was born in our house.

I made chicken salad for dinner today.

I believe in miracles.

Big Papa

2011-06-19T12:10:00.000-07:00

A FATHER'S DAY ACROSTIC POEM IN PICTURES:

First glances at your daughter's beauty.

Always sacrificing yourself to give her the best.

Teaching her to be a lover, with her whole heart.

Holding her high when she's scared or when she just needs your touch.

Encouraging her to keep going, even when it's unknown territory.

Realizing sometimes she just wants to relish in the joy of her Daddy.

40

2011-06-15T18:47:00.000-07:00

After deciding to read the Bible from front to back (yeah, I know I've probably done it a couple times, but this time I'm not even skipping over the geneologies), I've gotten a few revelations. One thing is this number 40. I just chowed down on Noah's ark story and how he and the fam bonded together over board games and animal poo for a looooong time. I mean, let's be honest, if you've ever been in someone's house who has (stinky) pets and doesn't clean up with clorox or at least some soapy water, it reeks. The stench is unbearable and the feeling is worse than that after leaving Walmart. So Noah and his family are bearing with the smell in turn for not being washed up with the rest of the people that were on earth. I'd say it's a pretty good deal.

40 days and nights it rained. I always thought that meant Noah was on the ark for 40 days, but it doesn't. It simply means, it RAINED for 40 days.The most consistent number I came up with was approximately 370 days on the ark!!! Are you kidding me?! That's a lot of Yahtzee and Words with Friends. This is all beside the point that I wanted to make, but I thought it was interesting, nonetheless. 40 days and nights. The number 40 is so significant throughout the Bible. It shows up and generally represented "testing". With that said, I thought to myself "how interesting" that a fetus is carried approximately 40 weeks (yes, I know that number can vary).

Take from that what you will. Whatever it speaks to you or means to you. At the end of 40, significant change takes place and usually a sort of breakthrough. Amen and amen. It may be a lot of work or "testing", but thank God for the breakthrough!

I dare you...

2011-06-10T12:42:00.000-07:00

39 and a half weeks. That's almost 40. That's days past the "safe" delivery dates. That's weeks before the "too late" delivery dates. Our To-Do lists have been crossed off. Brandon thought Azlan might be waiting until after his birthday (June 5). Next, he thought Azlan was waiting for us to get our new mattress. Well, the mattress has been delivered and we are sleeping with extra room...but Azlan is still no where to be found. Ok, that's not true. He's definitely here and he's definitely taking up a good amount of space in my uterus.
Super-Mama Tricia, over at A Seed Inspired, has taught me the ropes in "Daring Birth" to come. You start to get a little antsy and ready to meet your babe. You start to say things like, "Well, if you aren't gonna come, then I'm going to go to the beach and enjoy myself." You start doing things like throwing the football in the backyard and pretending that you really aren't that far along. You start planning loooong shopping trips to far off destinations.
Come on Azlan. I DARE you to be born. I triple dog dare you. Pleasssssssssse. I'll even reward you with a warm glass of milk as soon as you make your first appearance. Do I hear an, "Ok mama."?!

Beach for 3, Please

2011-06-03T19:29:00.000-07:00

Last minute, Brandon suggested a beach getaway for our fam of 3. We packed into the Jeep and headed to Long Beach Island for 3 days in the sun. My goal each day was to embrace each moment and soak up the laid back atmosphere. It wasn't too hard to do, considering the beach was 40 feet away. Thank ya Lord for a gorgeous couple days of salt water and sunshine.

Picture This

2011-05-31T04:43:00.000-07:00

You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. Psalm 18:35

The system of this world teaches self-preservation and selfishness. But there is so much favor over your life, there is a way that has already been paved. A path that has already been cleared. Soak it in like the sun this morning.

It doesn't make Him any less when He gives his treasures away or stops to pick us up. His love is ravishing a bride that would receive Him.

Today, I want to be like Him. I want to stoop down to make them great. The others. Because it's not about me anyway.

Life is All Around Us

2011-05-26T18:53:00.000-07:00

Bird and I are having a small competition. Who will have her baby first???

Head in the Game

2011-05-22T19:18:00.000-07:00

The countdown is on. It's been "on", but now it is really ON. May has been filled with fabulous birthdays (my dad, kell, tricia), our 6th anniversary, and our first over-nighter without Eva. The warm weather and play dates are all I've been waiting for, yet time has a way of speeding up during this sacred time of year. Oh yeah, and I'm going to birth my SON soon too. No big deal. What?!?!

It's a HUGE stinkin' deal. I am pumped. Brandon and I have been talking about how things will change around the house and what parenting will be like with 2 kids. Just say it, "Our kids.". Crazy! Today Eva pulled up my shirt and began kissing my belly. She talks to little buddy and says, "Out! Out! Home! Home". But today, took it to a whole new level. She started pulling on my belly and trying to "help" baby boy come out. "Help you?" she says to me. HA! It was so precious. I tried to tell her that only Jesus can tell her brother when to come out, so she prayed for me and asked Jesus to talk to the baby. Precious. Moments (no wonder those figurines sold so well).

I'm trying to compile a list of verses and inspirations to meditate on before the birth. If you have kids, maybe you have some favorites up your sleeve that you'd like to share. Maybe you want to stick a few of these on your bathroom mirror. Does anyone still write in lipstick now-adays?

From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. Psalm 8:2

Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court. Psalm 127:3

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Moms: You were made for this!

Sliiiiiiiiiide

2011-05-18T19:27:00.000-07:00

Remember when you were being chased around the playground by the "cute kid". He was IT. You were running for dear life and trying not to get "frozen". The teacher blows the whistle. Recess is over. Jog over to the line and dream about the 5 second water fountain drink that lie ahead. Recess. The most fabulous, joyous, freeing, moments of your day. You were, invincible.

It's all about the slide now. ALL, about the slide. Rain or shine, she's content to climb up and freefall down until Mama or Dada say, "1 more time". I'm taking a little advice from my toddler. After I climb, enjoy every second of the freefall. Each, and every one.

Goodness GRACE-ious

2011-05-08T18:01:00.000-07:00

I know I just finished posting about not being sensitive, but then Mother's Day comes and whoops my bootie once again. For the past 2 years, I am ever gracious for this yearly reminder of the job I started 21 months ago.

After a breathtaking breakfast at Hotel Hershey's Circular Dining Room, I chatted Brandon's ear off about my view of motherhood. I mean, don't get me wrong, life changes when you start dating someone. It takes a turn when you go to college or move out of your parent's house. It gets really serious when you decide to throw on a fancy engagement ring and pledge your life to someone in a wedding ceremony. But honestly, n-o-t-h-i-n-g compares to being a mother. Nothing. Nonezo. Nada.

From the moment Eva emerged into this world, my life has not been the same. The way I sleep. My bod. What I think about. Pray about. The way I eat (in between playing games and cleaning up after a toddler). When I go out. Everything changed. And like Eric was saying today, "This is how God intended it to be". Kind of like He plopped Jesus into the arms of a pure, young woman and stood back in expectancy as she raised His son. Mary had so much grace to mother the son of God, that he entrusted her with His very son.

I had a dream last night that my friend Tonya birthed a daughter. To my excitement, when I woke up, I discovered that she DID in fact have a baby and it was in fact a girl! Laying in bed, tears of joy were streaming down my face (and I say I'm not emotional). I think it was the mere anticipation of a new baby and then the adrenaline of the actual delivery that had me in tears. I can only imagine what I will be feeling next month. Next month when we meet Aslan, face to face.

Happy Mama's Day to all of you women out there who wake up in the morning and embrace your job. And even on those days when you wish you could "call in sick", here is a big hug and a pep talk..."You Can Do It!!!"

Baby Blues and Sunny News

2011-05-01T12:33:00.000-07:00

I mentioned in a previous blog that I would later delve into my emotional roller coaster after birthing Eva. My only reason in exposing this season of my life is to reiterate to myself that I have control over some aspects of this post-birth chemical cascade and to possibly shed some light on a topic that I was ignorant to.

I wouldn't consider myself an emotional person. Unless God whispers a word in my direction, I rarely cry. I have to muster up nostalgia. I would like to think that I handle stress and change with the best of em, rather than cracking at the first upset. My husband would agree with these statements and my best friend would probably make a joke out of them. But, for the most part, I'm not ultra sensitive. Because I know these things about myself, I DID NOT give a flying poop about the "Baby Blues" or "Postpartum Depression" sections in baby books or magazines. In my mind I reasoned, "I'm not an emotional person so this won't be something that I need to research in the midst of my birth/baby studies". And, in my ignorance, I WAS WRONG.

I'm not saying I was clinically depressed. I'm not saying I was singing Barney songs from the rooftops. But, I will say that I was not myself in the first couple weeks/months after having a baby. Crying every day on Brandon's shoulder. Sad about the captivity that I felt had come upon me. Feeling hopeless about ever having time to dry my hair or enjoy a full 15 minute shower ever again. Oh, and I can't forget to mention the physical pain. Nursing was the most painful thing my body has ever endured. I do not say this lightly. I know what you're thinking, "Giving birth had to be more painful than nursing!", but in so many ways it wasn't. For the first 6-8 weeks of nursing, it was as if knives were being stabbed into my chest, 8-12 times a day. These knives were necessary in order to keep my daughter alive and the only person who was able to do that was me. The pressure! Bloody, cracked, sore, and the list goes on. I'll stop with the visuals right there. I think you get the idea.

The combination of the emotional and physical pain was overwhelming. Here is where I SHOULD HAVE reached out for help. Here is where I should have let my pride fall and share with some friends that I was drowning. But for some time, I thought I needed to hold it all together. I needed to put on this "I have it all under control" front. I wore a mask rather than letting the tears drip down my cheek. Daily, I would cry out to the Lord and ask Him to give me joy and ask Him to restore what had been stolen. However, as I reflect, I realize that when we are weak He is so strong. And in His strength, He was telling me to let the walls fall down and come to grips with the fact that I did not have to have it all together and I did not have to keep my emotions "under control".

When Eva was about 6 weeks, I had a major breakthrough in nursing (a change in feeding from one side to both). The physical pain lessened and I was able to enjoy these special moments spent with my babe. Around the same time, I started calling people (my Bradley birth teacher, friends, older moms) and pouring out my soul over the phone. Let me tell you how healing this was to me! Refreshing came during each conversation and I started to learn that judgment had only been placed on me by myself. Others could relate, and to me, that felt freeing. I wasn't alone.

As I sit, days away from welcoming my son into my arms, I hold on to the wisdom that I have gained and realize that there is nothing that I am asked to do alone. I am not perfect and neither is any other mother. I am thrilled to have another opportunity to birth life and experience the only euphoria that new life can bring. BonVoyage baby blues and welcome baby shoes? Baby diapers? Baby skin? Well, something like that.

See

2011-04-19T05:19:00.000-07:00

Under breaths. Behind our eyes. In the midst and absence of our knowledge, You are here. So sweet. The fragrance of your perfection. Your mercy. Your worthiness. You are worth so much more than I give. Yet, perfectly stable upon your throne. Scepter in hand and a heart filled with love. Who is like You in all the earth? Will you find a one? A moldable, pliable soul, who is surrendered and willing to be broken. Broken to self. Broken to them. Healed to you. Healed to heal them. Oh Jesus. There is so much more. Starving for manna. For the words of life. Rama words. I want to feed from your hands and bless the 5000. Your glory. Your plans. Your agenda. Your heart. You. You. You.

This is the matrix. It's where we live. In the world, not of.

A Tip about the Nips (girls only)

2011-04-12T18:40:00.000-07:00

After spending a ravishing week with one of my bestest friends in the world, Veronica, I realized how much new-mom-mumbo-jumbo I have stored in my brain. It's the kind of info that no one typically warns you about, but would be MUCH appreciated if known BEFORE the baby is born. And so, this blog post is born. If you are a male reader, continue at your own discretion.

* Wearing Depends for the first couple of days after birth is easier/less hassle than trying to wash and rewash your favorite Victoria's Secret undies.

* Constipation may settle in after birth. And by constipation, I mean a-week-without-going. Your brain knows exactly what happened "down there" and might not want your body to do anything that reminds it of "pushing". Hint: eat a lot of fiber.

* I am not an emotional or overly sensitive woman. I did not think the Baby Blues would affect me. I was wrong. You may be wrong if you think this too. (More on this in a detailed post in the future)

* When your baby is nursing, the milk doesn't flow from one stream. You have about 5-10 streams in each nipple. Crazy, right?! They squirt in all directions and can cause blinding if not careful (just kidding about the last part).

* Nursing pads. When I would have let-down, I would leak. I thought leaking would occur for the first month or two of nursing. It didn't. It continued for the 13 months that I nursed my daughter. Leaking equals wearing nursing pads for 13 months. Not sexy and not fun.

* At the beginning of each nursing session a thirst will overtake you, as if you've just run a 5K in the Sahara. Always have a water bottle or husband nearby.

* For me, nursing felt like being stabbed with a knife for the first 6 weeks of my baby's life. I read a lot of advice, including, "Sleep without a bra on to allow nipples to be exposed to air and heal faster". I tried this. I woke up with milk soaked UFO circles on my sheets. Perfect circles. They were probably the size of basketballs. Two of them. This was a bad idea.

* We tried everything to get Eva to love a pacifier. She wanted to suck all the time and I wasn't able to be the "sucker" around the clock when nursing sessions were already taking at least 45 minutes every 2 hours. The remedy that finally worked: put the pacifier between your boobs (you, being the mom). Let it sit there for a few minutes and it will remind your baby of mama.

He has a Name

2011-04-07T11:16:00.000-07:00

Name: Aslan Jude Stout Moist

Meaning: Great Lion of Praise

I'm believing he is in (my belly) like a Lion and out (into our arms) like a lamb. ;) Eva already shouts his name around the house!

I Get It

2011-04-05T05:29:00.000-07:00

In my ignorance, I haven't had a revelation of true peace as a mother until this week. Sure, I have had peace in certain areas. I have become more comfortable with the fact that "parts of my life are over", or at least that's what they say. But in the resting and in the quiet this week, I've had this epiphany of the GIFT that has been laid in my hands. This gift comes with responsibility, sure. This gift is, dare I say, the most life altering present that one will ever unwrap? But the rewards are endless. In fact, they don't ever stop. They go on to the next, and the next, and the next generation.

Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior's fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children!
Your enemies don't stand a chance against you;
you'll sweep them right off your doorstep.
Psalm 127:3-5

I am selfish. My attention and thoughts drift back toward me. BUT, through grace...it doesn't remain on me. Thank you God, His mercies are new each and every morning. I'm learning to KEEP my focus on Him. Uninterrupted. Like a cord that is plugged in and never removed. Jesus, how blessed can I be? My quiver is full and still to be filled again. You've laid arrows in my hand? You've called me a warrior. And I will fight for you. I will not sit down. I will not give in.

I give you my life. As a woman. As a daughter. As a wife. As a mother. And your word will not fail me.

Franklin TN and its Glory

2011-04-02T13:34:00.001-07:00

Travel Guide

2011-04-01T19:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we embarked on a 12 hour drive to Franklin, TN. Eva is 20 months old and she was strapped into the backseat and excited to see Uncle Brad and Auntie Sara. On the grueling and loooooooooong drive, I learned a few valuable lessons:

7Eleven has the dirtiest gas station bathrooms. In fact, there isn't even a sign that says, "Restroom". They don't have paper towels. I had to hover the entire time. If there aren't paper towels, are the employees washing their hands before they handle your food???

Virginia is for Cows. Maybe the cows are the Lovers?

Portable DVD players and a Barney DVD are as important to pack as underwear and toothbrushes. Do NOT forget this.

Chickfila Restaurants often have play areas for kiddos. After long hours in a car seat, it's only right to let the toddlers run amuck after nuggets and waffle fries. Besides, who would want to pass up one of their delicious milkshakes?!

Dear Baby Boy,

2011-03-30T13:09:00.000-07:00

Last night your dada and I were sitting on the couch taking a personality quiz. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, for just a second, I saw you snuggled in my hands as we were enjoying the evening together. You were swaddled and tiny and your skin was a perfect shade of sun-kissed baby tan. "I can't wait to meet him," I told your dad. I stopped for a moment to take in the image before it faded from my immediate memory.

Yana gave us some clothes for you to grow in. Your room is getting closer to completion. A lot of love and laughs has gone into the process. I love the creativity that you have drawn out of us, your parents. Even Eva loves your room. She likes me to bring the laptop upstairs and she dances around your floor. Oh, and the squirt bottle! I use it to iron with and I keep it in your room right now. Eva thinks this is the BEST gift ever. She sprays it into her mouth and you'd swear she was drinking chocolate milk. Ahh, the simple loves of life.

I must say, you have been busy moving and keeping me aware that I have a BOY growing inside my belly. I get it. You're tough. You're unpredictable. You would like to be in charge. ;) You're wild at heart already. Well, let's just say that when we finally get the "ok" on your name, I am convinced it will describe your personality perfectly. Now about that name...we are still waiting.

Happy 29 weeks! I know the timing will be perfect, but I am anxiously awaiting those breathtaking moments after you emerge into this world. Mwah.

Love,
Mama

Latter Half

2011-03-26T11:05:00.000-07:00

The Latter Half of Pregnancy:

1. All pants/leggings slide into place just below the baby bulge.
2. Slipping behind someone at a restaurant becomes an embarrassing "get up on your tippy toes so your belly doesn't brush their chair" balancing act.
3. Middle of the night peeing.
4. Early bed times are the new craving.
5. Waiting for the baby to kick is like waiting for your next breath-it's automatic.
6. Your view from the "top" looking down consists of one thing, belly.
7. You'd like to put your shoes on? Take a breath like you're having a hold-your-breath-under-water contest. It's gonna be a few minutes before you get to take in air again.
8. Cereal. Cereal. Cereal. A food group of its own (especially before bed).
9. The MacBook history would show, an obsessive search for names and baby bedding.
10. Walking into a store or restaurant makes you wonder if you robbed a bank. STOP Staring!!!

11. I LOVE IT

Our Registry

2011-03-19T13:29:00.000-07:00

Upon request, we have registered for Baby Boy at BabiesRUs!

Trimester Sleepmester

2011-03-18T19:05:00.000-07:00

I just realized today, after a 9:30pm sleep session last night, that I have officially entered the final trimester. I'm going to hold my babe in less than 3 months! Honestly, I can't wait. His kicks and growth helps me envision him in my arms, relaxing on the couch in the evenings with Dada. Ahh...

Spring is upon us. Eva is cracking me up around every corner. She's chirping words like, "bird, car, slide, swing, fish, up (that's her favorite), sing, dance, outside, and the list goes on. She sleeps from 8:30-8:30 and plays hard until a nap at 2:30. Gosh, I love this girl. My friend Claire once told me her little girl was her best friend, and I can see why she would say that. We are inseparable.

Enjoy the new layout and pictures. I tried to make a collage with photos from every 6 months of Eva's life and of course, my love, Brando. To think, it all started with an 18 year old girl and a 19 year old boy, and a lifetime of adventure in front of them.

Twenty (29) Nine

2011-03-10T10:59:00.000-08:00

Brandon asked me this question: What personal goals do you have in the next year (AKA., before I'm 30 and OLD)?

Me: Run a half marathon.

Transition into being a mother of 2 with at least half of my sanity in tact.

Live life completely alive.

Eat healthy.

Laugh A LOT.

Take as many pictures of baby boy as I did of Eva, regardless of the statistics against me.

Love and embrace EACH moment of breath I have.

Drink lots of iced coffees.

Tan like it's my job.

Go under the water.

Have friends over. Often.

Fit into my old jeans again, minus the muffin top.

What's everybody got against birthdays?!

2011-03-04T11:45:00.000-08:00

Me: So, what'd you do for your birthday?
Them: Nothing really, I mean as I get older it's just not really a big deal.
Me: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Kelly has always told me that I get this birthday-delirium from growing up with split families. Split families meant 2 parties, 2 sets of gifts, 2 cakes, and 2 sleepovers. But honestly, I REALLY think that there is more to it than that. Work with me for a sec.

You're born. It's pretty much the biggest day of your life. You were once a thought, but now a human of flesh and blood. You grow. You fall. You get back up again. And because of these ups and downs, you have a story. This story is your testimony. Your personal no-one-in-the-world-has-one-like-you-story. How does this relate to birthdays? Well, I'm glad you asked. A birthday or a holiday is a specific day of the year that we set aside to remember, to focus, to celebrate something amazing that has taken place. YOU ARE AMAZING. You are WORTH remembering! I say all of these things with my birthday aside, I am not scrounging for reasons why the world should celebrate me. I am justifying why birthdays ARE a big deal and why the people in our lives should be remembered and honored and celebrated.

Oh, so you're saying it's too costly? Is that your excuse?! The lavish gifts and gourmet dinners are not what I'm talking about (although they are always a nice add-on), I'm talking about the phone call. The card that was hand made. The thought that goes into a funny decoration or song you made up when it was way too late and you had way too much on your mind. How about this, sitting around the dinner table and sharing a, "This is one thing that I admire about the BirthdayGuy", thought. These things are free and they are good and lovely and pure and oh, so special.

I'm going to be 29 on Sunday (2 more days) and I REJOICE at the thought of another year of life. Man, I want to live it to the fullest. No regrets. No looking back. No shoulda-coulda-woulda's. I want to embrace ALL that life has for me and not give anxiety, doubt, or fear a second of my time.

So, birthdays ARE a big deal. Every person has one and every person deserves to be honored on their Birth-Day. Work with me here people. Do you see what I'm seeing?!

25 Weeks in Love

2011-03-01T17:32:00.000-08:00

I like photography.

I love my husband.

I love my son, who is growing in my belly.

Add these three together and you get picture above.

Thanks babe, for making pregnancy look vogue.