Calling All Engineers

Since entering the wonderful-ever-so-enlightening world of "Mama", I've come against a few brick walls in the shopping corridor of life. Being a mom is truly like moving to a foreign country. You've heard about this country. You've even seen pictures. But until you go there yourself, it's just a facade that you intend on making a reality someday. Well, that someday is here and I have a few ideas for the person in charge.

Showering. Before Eva was born, I enjoyed every moment of a shower. The heat, the smell, the "getting clean". Showering takes me approximately 20 minutes (I've tried to make it faster, but I just can't. Period). Now that there is a baby sitting in front of the shower doors, my shower time is ever so limited. Last week, Eva managed to scoot over to the trash can and take off the lid. Disgusting! Thank God I slid open the foggy door in time to see her tongue-lunge for the lid. Here is where I insert one of my great ideas. A Water-Proof Monitor. Eva could sit in her room and play with her toys for 30 minutes if she was so inclined, and I could stay in the hot steamy shower knowing that I could hear every gurgle she made. The monitors that are available are so hard to hear when the radio is on, let alone the water running in the shower. A Water-Proof Monitor would solve all of these problems. (Also, a fellow mom, Katie Horst, suggested a mesh-sling so you could take baby into the shower with you. Great idea.)

Baby Butts. These soft, squeezable, chubby body parts are one of the cutest parts of a baby. How can you not like a baby butt?! How can you also not love wiping diaper rash cream on the soft tush, right after you've wiped it? Well, it's easy to not like it. The cream gets under my nails. I can't walk to the bathroom to wipe it off because the baby might fall off the changing table. What a mess. Sooo, how about Spray-On Diaper Cream?! Just give a little spray and baby's bottom will be as soft as ever.

Lastly, but certainly not least, may be a sensitive topic for some. The ever-so-ugly nursing bra. Were these designed by a man? Wait, a man would never design a bra so ugly for his wife to wear. They come in the ugliest colors. The straps are as thick as a slab of bacon. There is no lace. Nothing cute. Just a "gettin'-the-job-done" boulder holder. Any mom could tell ya that after she has given birth, she would like to at least be able to put on a bra and underwear that are a little flattering. Just a little. A color that is not, nude. Would someone call Elle Macpherson and ask her to get back to the drawing boards and produce more braziers? We are desperate!