A Heart Attack, Jack

Thus far, I've remained calm, cool, and collected.

I've packed a few boxes.

Signed my life away on contracts.

Scoured Pinterest, the local Home Depot, and Craigslist with a fine toothed comb.

Today, for some reason, it didn't seem calm, cool, and collected.

In my head I had a mini-breakdown.

I dropped the Target, Costco, and Giant bags on the counter and set up a new basketball hoop that our friends (Josh and Tonya you ROCK my worlllllld!!!) gave Aslan for his birthday.

As I sauntered back into the kitchen to unpack and make lunch...

the

room

started

spin-n-i-n-ggggggggg.

"I'm not calm, cool, and collected. Our current townhome is in disarray. I can't even find construction paper. WHY WOULD I HAVE ALREADY PACKED CONSTRUCTION PAPER?! It's dirty. There is mulch and grass covering my kitchen floor. Address changes. When do I need to get that in? Will our bills go to a dark basket in the deepest hole of the post office, never to be seen again? The new house. THE NEW HOUSE! Yard work, grass, renovations, septic, kitchen, the pool, paint, mold, water, yard work, moving, and yard work..."

Heart.

Beating.

Faster.

"Father's Day! I still have to wrap the presents. Make the presents! What will I cook? Does Brandon have a golfing buddy? A play room in the basement or toys in the kids' rooms? Should I make Tenne a vet appointment? What about the next women's meeting? Where and what will it look like, who will come? Will anyone come?"

S I L E N C E. (Two hours later.)

The children are sleeping and I've sat down to reminisce and I remembered a phrase a friend told me last year.

"If you have something to renovate, you have something to be thankful for."

Inhale. And I let it out slowly, the breath and not the words.

"If you have something to renovate, you have something to be thankful for."

That's it. That's all I needed. I surely know that "Thanks" precedes the miracle, and I will choose thanks and not worry or stress or anxiety.

NO. No. no.

Isn't it wild how a few simple, life giving words can change our heart and mind, in an instant?!

I'm amazed.

I also flipped into these words, while digesting this day. A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

Cheers to you and a non-stressed, anxiety-less weekend!

And to end it all, with THANKS...
For fathers to be thankful for.
For women to share life with and discuss all the goodnesses of Him.
For puppies who snuggle with me on the couch.
For a house, an inheritance, an answered promise.
For grace thus far, to live in the mess. That's right, to LIVE in the mess.